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 Spooks contd “Sit down, relax, and talk through what concerns you” The counsellor says, through uncomplicated thought “How people I trusted destroyed me, my world, my trusting, my mind” Well, that’s unfortunate.  Do you want to talk about it ? “No” i said ”I just want you to fuck off and talk to someone who cares that fairness is something” So the counsellor fucked off The end

Part time Spooks

Betrayal Trusting them, believing that they were there That I didn’t need to worry about them Blindly wandered into chaos Spying ? On me and my mate ? But they’re friends and girlfriends !! Once it was 1 in 10 working for the SP  Then it was closer to 1 in 5 had  5 spooks  Unaccountably Knowing  Hearing excuses when asked Betrayal

Chaotic Break

 Untidily Waiting, sitting, reading, walking, panicking The trials of getting back after a relaxing holiday,  Confident, on booking, that everything would be smooth Realisation hits It’s not So far The countryside is now flying past  Aren’t TGV trains amazing ? Missed 2 trains so far after the sleeper was 1.5 hours late Fate, was that ?  I hesitate in that debate Ascribing an accident of timing to good or bad luck ? Is that reasonable, real, logical, fair Are they out to get me The TGV I was on had a technical issue so this is the second today The roaring of the engine pulls me forward,  Potential of getting the Eurostar 30 mins before it leaves ?  Doubtful

Holiday sounds and light

 Beating Sun Heat shimmers on the rocky pavement, worn and shaped from the years Shutters move slowly in the wind, fanning those behind with cool draughts of air The birds sounds drowned out by the cars and scooters, as they busily rush about  Looking to finish their job so they can do the next one Voices and shouts in Italian, French, English and others interrupt the calm in between the noises The journey here took a day and it was long,  But was it worth it ? Completely so The calmness settles my soul, as I wait for the train back Whistles, then the creak as the train carriages are pulled from their slumber and off To a new adventure

Age is but a number

Age Aging gracefully,  Unlikely so, more disgracefully, but Trying to reach the levels my mind desires, but my body And muscles cannot seem to That twinge that would disappear with a warm down now has hobbled my leg The hill that was easy to run up is now Everest on my lungs, But I remain intending to travel, work, love And not slow down Till I’m put into a box of reeds and placed near her

Death

 If i die Will anyone notice In my darkest moments i hope so Would it be a 3 month wait with “the neighbors hadn’t seen me for a while” And I’m found face down between the sink and the sofa Glass in hand…or on the floor by that stage No one turned up So one noticed No one

Dreaming confusion

Dreams Disturbed by dreams, waking in a sweat Ex wife appears out of the air, proceeds to make herself at home Apparently pregnant Wouldn’t be mine, having not been near for 6 years Not in a dream, no sensible thing in a dream Instead of walking to the door, I fly or float  Not walk Confusion reigns Bedding, rocking horses, baby clothes lie about,  Sky is awash with colour, sparkly with stars whilst the rainbows reflecting the sun remain Some weird fantasy world, Waking is very welcome