Things Poetic

  Another Monday          Ticks across the calendar                         Bringing with it ideas of hope, anticipation                                             And some trepidation                                                            Nervousness and wariness                                                 But, it could be Tuesday                            ...

 Another Weekend Saturday arrives, a sigh of relief after a crazy week Of meetings, travelling, writing, talking and attempts to sleep, Not only at night,  Sometimes during those meetings Mental, sociopathic, self certifiably crazy It’s a day my body isn’t tensing before the alarm goes off That i can see the sun before i get dressed And listen to the birds, over a cup of coffee, and not Be panicking about missing the train More please

 Newborn The excitement as the date. Gets closer, only eclipsed by The birth itself And hearing that we are expecting Wondering whether a boy or girl, blonde or dark But expecting someone amazing, whom i already know from talking to them In the womb, feeling the kicks and feather touches Sung to and talked to It’s coming, and i reach around and feel the wet hair on its head as it (she) started to appear What wonder, what beauty we have created To hold her, wrapped in a blanket After This snuffling, reaching bundle of love And to have.it relegated 2 years later with my son, was more than I deserved Fingers unfurling, reaching, orchestrating a symphony Little ears and frowny forehead I close my eyes now and live through those two experiences as if I am there again Mirrored later with the little fairy, adorable and also loved

 Dealing with Grief How, in any world, do you ‘deal’ with grief Any form of it Your closest get tired of your sadness, your inability to cope, crying at  The drop of a hat, refusing to go out and enjoy life Choosing darkness, silence….or just rewatching Game of Thrones over and over again “Why don’t you want to meet up, why….” ‘OK, Ill do something instead. You grieve in your way. Im not waiting ‘ The people who used to call on you, stop Those you saw as closest, aren’t any longer Avoiding conversation, stopping asking or listening or both And still, that screaming in your head continues. Still that cold face keeps you awake at night Still you grieve, desperate for a way to cope But cant. So, instead, you cut ties with everyone.  Stop expecting anything from anyone, stop relying on anyone. Put the barrier up that just affirms theirs And then you start to be able to cope with the loss, the devastation, the hole left behind And the hurt feels less, but isn’t The loss feels ...

 Silence Sometimes you want to hear nature, the sound of birds In the trees, rain pattering on the  Long grass, lifting the dust from the surface, the smell is  Everywhere, fresh and  Natural, birds seeking out the bugs that have  Come to the surface, our out from under leaves, Entering the clean world that’s just been renewed

 Silence To have silence, quiet Nothing breaking it A goal and a lost hope But something to seek and drive for Lie on the water surface, head in the water And listen, float, nothing else Waves rippling, sounds of people, water on sand Peace Meandering through reeds, over stones, around trees and plants Over level falls  Against sand