Things Poetic

 Summer heat "It feels cool right now" is what I said after I woke sweltering overnight, uncomfortable 31 degrees later on apparently train ? nope home I remain

 Enough Not enough,  too much Or something between Confused brain not aligning with expectations, norms in panic, it , I  choose an option presented to it, Me that is too much....  not enough the hurt, the look,  upset, rebounding into my heart as my head tries to comprehend badly clueless, confused too much the response is too much  or not enough again spiralling to an ending end

 Trillionaire - doublespeak and irony The money is not imaginable,  unimaginable, some say obscene a trillionaire many would agree with depicting it an obscenity they say rockets, and twitter X in newspeak - Orwell in practice build hugely powerful star reaching vehicles work teams into the ground remorseless fascist saluting,  Benefitter of apartheid - exponent of it anti immigrant immigrant,  anti antifascist - irony writ large war is peace, lies are truth,  as we live in a weird fantasy world where there are no rules, no guardrails, no rules based world order might is right the pigs have become the rulers the rapists the law makers and the raped targeted and ignored

 Waxing Words, whisper within wind swept wheat, golden in the sun What can be heard, is snatched only 'When can ...'  .... 'Will we want to....' ... 'Tomorrow works well' Would if I could hear more, but its caught in the competing sounds of music, birds, wind, combine harvesters Will we wonder why we don't meet Will we wish we had Will we want to talk without restraint Will we be transparent, without withholding ? When....why not .... the waning of the moon witheld wonder

 Love four letters Living Our very best life evermore choices, thoughts, dreams, hopes - all tied together with each other smell, taste, touch, feel - all expressing ourselves whisper, smile, gasp, groan - together always

 Scrum they spilled the ball, again  bloody backs OK, leave it to us forwards Hooker lifts arms int he air, stretching muscles, waiting.  Doing a sort of mating dance with the opposing hooker hookers both the lumps of the props lumber up and take their positions on either side, tightening binds, steam lifting up from the 6 men locks hold each other up, kneel and peek through between the props legs seeking the enemy...a few paces in front of them then the fly boys grab hold on either side and the back duck and charge tusste push hit grip hook and ....break, run, pass, tackle, lunge.....dive score

 The Smile It was the smile, full and generous, eyes twinkling, a belly laugh thats the memory,  kindness, care, love, support putting everyone else first, even when she had nothing, and no energy and hating being the focus of anything the smile, the love, the care always remembered

 age is it the age that gets you,  age and years, both seemingly continuous,  yet structured seconds, minutes, hours...you know how it goes prickling above the horizon, shards of new sunlight,  yet billions of years old and 8 minutes away not yet warming, just seeking out cells to say "hello there" in a Skywalker way or is it the journey that takes your legs out drops you like a sack into that chair, zimmer, bed

 time start weave along the lanes of disaster end this it

 Fleeting dreams Waking is often worst,  ive been in a detailed, serious, impassioned conversation,  or action,  and then, as if from a pool of water emerged and what I had been looking at, talking to, planning, doing is like whips of ink in water, slowly dissolving into  nothing I try and remember, to no avail and they're gone,  to be replaced the next night with a brand new adventure

 Gym drive Reaching for gym clothes, thinking, no, hoping, that they fit they do, unfortunately so the dance begins again finally puts socks on, whilst unsteadily balancing on a foot, a foot in the air shoes the ensemble is complete Number of reps of each exercise listed in my mind, as I drive there Hopefully its not too busy sweaty bodies blocking the equipment sitting there on their phones, or talking patience, wait, move to something not planned how long have I been here only 30 minutes ?  My joint shout back 'thats enough' my brain says, 'just a bit more' the more I go, the more my brain wins sore

 Silence silence, palpable,  physical, pushing into my every pore fine tendrils of cool air whisper around my fingers listen,  soft droplets of rain catch the window above, next to me pigeons call to each other on the roof,  chattering of squirrels on the bird feeder outside,  the disgust evident in their voices, each protecting their territory birds - tits, magpies, pigeons, doves,  starlings and crows all fight silently for the scraps but its a calm silence hardly broken by the artificial distant sounds of tractors on fields planted with beets, barley and wheat cut through but then the silence returns, only broken by the tap of the keys then that stops

 Technical Nerd 7 layers describe a network of power, driving the internet sooperhighway packets of traffic, wrapped in security,  encrypted to confuse the snoopy clan danger of post quantum, undermining the unwary and the wary underwear suddenly on show naked as born purple, blue and red teams challenge stripy teams providing the help as a barber pole of support and improvement rules and police action all trying to help the unwary all aiming to undermine learning from them all

 Sitting on the bottom Floating, feeling each movement, tendril of water touching my skin some buffett me, as legs kick, arms pull others caress from a distance air slowly leaves, smooth, then bubbling up drifting down, more quickly till im sitting as in an arm chair arms out in front of hanging ears pop not he way but now just hear dull cries, splashes but mostly the thud of my heart in my head feeling the grip of the goggles around my eyes  the pull of the calm depth fights the growing panic for air till the edge, lungs bursting then slowly pushing off rising and breaking the surface keeping it slow keep the gasp silent filling lungs chlorine strong at the surface catches my throat biting, acid again ?.....

Squirrels Bright eyes, darting  as their tails shake Delicate hands reaching for seed on the floor tail now moving over his back the crack of his voice, not his another warns him, my territory fight suddenly rushing off up a tree in a spiral, ever upwards through the branches, and back down larking over the ground, through the leaves into the next tree chasing and being chased exhausting ignored bu the starlings and the cats